Put Your Shoes On :) Day 2

I'll admit it.

I was a little nervous.

When I handed Mary her shoes and socks this morning, I was afraid of a repeat of yesterdays scenario.  (see http://www.pattyanddanstonefamily.blogspot.com)

So, I handed her some socks.

"Put your socks on please, Mary!"  I said cheerfully.

No response.

I repeated the request - still cheerfully.

This time she shoved the socks off her lap and huffed.

I place the socks back on her lap.

"Mary, put your socks on please!"

This whole conversation was repeated twice and then I hobbled out of the room, humming a song.

When I came back in, she was putting on her socks.

Yay!!

Next, the shoes!!

I place them near her.

"Put your shoes on Mary!" (cheerfully)

You get the picture.

After only 2 requests, she puts her shoes on!

Hooray!!

Of course, I had to tie them, but still!!

Oh yeah, we are makin' some progress!

And she put on her jacket without me asking!

OOPS!!

I accidentally posted Mary's stuff on our family blog today.  

Yep, I'm losing it!!

See http://www.pattyanddanstonefamily.blogspot.com

February = Love month!!

It's been a busy month.  

Lots of activities for Mary.

And 2 bouts with sickness.

Mary was back into the swing of school, when she got hit with the stomach flu for a few days one week, and then later, that upper respiratory thing that's going around.

She still has a bit of a cough from that one.

In between that, we did some fun stuff.

The 2nd week of February, her Special Needs Mutual Organization had a roadshow.

They had been practicing for weeks.

Sadly, I wasn't able to go (my foot was super bad that day) but Dan took lots of pictures and told me all about it.  

Mary really likes Special Needs Mutual.

I remember the first few times she went.

She would scream and cry all the way to the car.

Now she goes so happily and willingly.

Last week, she took off out the door without us!

Now that's progress!!

 Then, her brother and his girlfriend came for a visit.

She doesn't look like it, but she IS having fun.

We did lots of family stuff, plus we went on a picnic to Pioneer park.

  It was a REALLY good weekend with Mary.  

Loren's girlfriend, Samantha, sat and did puzzles with Mary for quite a while.  Mary loved it and was quite animated the rest of the evening! 

She also got to have a Valentine's Party at school!

Here are some pics of Mary's school and friends.

L to R:  Diana (founder & teacher), Jennifer, Mary, Kristen

Kristen & Cindy

Kristen, Cindy, Mary

So, it's been a better month.

Things are looking up!!

Gotta get this off my chest....

On Sunday - in church no less, my teenage daughter overheard some (rude) teen boys making fun of Mary. 

They said she looks like "Frankenstein".

I realize they are "teenage boys", and that both words carry heaps of possible explanations for stupid behavior, but I can't excuse it!  At age 16, all human beings know how powerfully words can hurt.  

It hurt not only Mary, but the rest of us too. 

I really wanted to march over to his house and slap his pimply face!  There, I said it!!

After 27 years, I am still appalled by the amount of people who don't seem to acknowledge that Mary can hear. and understand. and feel. everything!   

On a more positive note, Mary's picture was in the newspaper.  See:   http://www.thespectrum.com/apps/pbcs.dll/section?Category=LIFESTYLE&template=archive&Date=20110207   

(It's  possible that the link won't work because we have the only online newspaper in the US that requires a paid subscription. )  Anyhoo, the reporter came to do an article about the Children of Hope Academy which Mary attends 3 hours a day.  They did a great job - lots of great photos and a nice long article, plus a plug for the 5K Fun Run on March 5th.  

We are having a better week also - more smiles and happiness.  She initiated going home a few days ago.  I got to the school, and on her own, she got her stuff and headed for the door, going out and looking for the car.  ANYthing she initiates is GREAT with me!!

Now that I've vented, I feel much better.

Why in the heck are my paragraphs highlighted??  Hmm...it is what it is. 

The Winter blahs....

A friend of mine has a blog (who doesn't have a friend with a blog?) and she made an entry last month about caring for her elderly and ailing mother-in-law.  

It touched something deep down inside of me.

Plus, I realized that there are people out there living with similar challenges to mine. 

It helps.

This past few months, my state of health has resembled a roller coaster.  One that instead of going high and back to ground level, goes low and back.  Even though I am doing everything I can to correct this situation, ( I'm not here to talk about my health, or my age) I have noticed that Mary regresses during the lows.  She is not making progress at this point.  

And, like my friend,  I wonder what to do.

Would she be better off living with someone who could take better care of her?

Does she resent the fact that I am not always there for her?

Why is she still hidden away in her little "box"?

Why does she refuse to smile?

Am I able to provide for her everything that she needs?

If I could just get someone to come in 1-2 hrs a day to help with her - oh what a difference that could make.  

Mary loves friends.

But they never come by anymore.

Mary has been ill the last 2 days.  Tummy ache, throwing up, fever.  

Today I drove her to school again, something that Dan has been doing for the last few weeks.  Mary was so grumpy looking.  She looks grumpy at me most of the day.

 

I have to admit that it makes me feel sad.

What is it that she needs?  

Since she won't talk, I can only wonder and anguish over that question.

Not so many years ago she was a happy, smiling, giggling girl, who would dance and talk jibberish.

We just HAVE to get that Mary back!!

It's Been Too Long!

Well, we made it through the holidays. 

While all the celebrations are fun, it really gets us 'off-track' with Mary.

Happily, she is still resilient and we are already getting back 'on track'. 

Mary and big little sister Jessica

Big Bro Danny home for Christmas and Mary - waiting for the 'opening of the presents'.

Mary is annoyed, I think, with whatever Loren is saying.  :)

Mary's got a present!!

Gingerbread men decorating.

 

As you can see, while we've maintained some good behaviors, Mary has found a few new debilitating activities.  One is always covering part of her face with her hand.  The other two are:  always touching her tummy - it looks like she's putting her hand in her pants, and laying her face against the wall.   I feel like we get rid of one and she finds two more!

Mary and Rachel taking a walk.

 On a positive note, Mary has gotten better at helping with chores and will now take the trash out to the trashcan all by herself!!

 

Halloween and a month in review....

Mary was a pirate for Halloween!!

Last time I posted, I was silly enough to state that I would post 2-3 times a week.

Why did I ever say that?
Maybe I thought I needed a new source of self-inflicted guilt.
Whatever caused my insanity, I have had a month of discouragement.
We have SOOOO far to go and we are moving along SOOOO slowly.
That is all I focus on sometimes.

So, I decided to take a look at the month we have just covered.

Milestones for October:
Mary playing basketball - started with making 4-5 baskets to making 30 baskets this past Friday.
Crawling: started with getting down on the floor for less than a minute, to crawling clear across the room last week.
Vocalizations: There has been much less yelling "no" as we try to respond better. She makes more happy noises now - even some humming.
Chores: Instead of refusing, she now happily helps doing kitchen chores. She helped me "fold" laundry last week. (ok - I did have to refold when she wasn't looking)
Initiating activities: Making very slow progress here. Wish I knew what I could do to get her to find something to do during down time. She just follows me everywhere.

Okay - that's all I can think of. I thought this would make me feel better. But I still feel so frustrated and impatient for faster progress.

I was looking at some old photos again - going through stuff.
There she was; Mary full of smiles and excitement.
I can't help wonder, what happened to that little carefree, happy girl?
It's like the Mary we knew, crawled into a box and shut it, then threw away the key.
How I wish I knew how to open that box again.

Good night!