A friend of mine has a blog (who doesn't have a friend with a blog?) and she made an entry last month about caring for her elderly and ailing mother-in-law.
It touched something deep down inside of me.
Plus, I realized that there are people out there living with similar challenges to mine.
It helps.
This past few months, my state of health has resembled a roller coaster. One that instead of going high and back to ground level, goes low and back. Even though I am doing everything I can to correct this situation, ( I'm not here to talk about my health, or my age) I have noticed that Mary regresses during the lows. She is not making progress at this point.
And, like my friend, I wonder what to do.
Would she be better off living with someone who could take better care of her?
Does she resent the fact that I am not always there for her?
Why is she still hidden away in her little "box"?
Why does she refuse to smile?
Am I able to provide for her everything that she needs?
If I could just get someone to come in 1-2 hrs a day to help with her - oh what a difference that could make.
Mary loves friends.
But they never come by anymore.
Mary has been ill the last 2 days. Tummy ache, throwing up, fever.
Today I drove her to school again, something that Dan has been doing for the last few weeks. Mary was so grumpy looking. She looks grumpy at me most of the day.
I have to admit that it makes me feel sad.
What is it that she needs?
Since she won't talk, I can only wonder and anguish over that question.
Not so many years ago she was a happy, smiling, giggling girl, who would dance and talk jibberish.
We just HAVE to get that Mary back!!
My son, Kellen, has worked for DDD, Dept of Developmental Disabilities here in Washington state. He has clients with varying degrees of disabilities; cerebral palsy, fetal alcohol syndrome and autism. Some he helps on a daily basis, some it is just hanging out for 3 hours once a week to play video games and other activities. A lot of the things he does is for socialization skills with some one besides a family member. One of his clients comes to our house once a week and we treat him like Kellen's friend. It's very calming to them to have a friend outside the family for these young men. Kellen has a gift for this. I'm amazed at his patience and caring. He'll make a great nurse. I don't know if Utah has a state funded program like this, but they are available as a private pay option too. Kellen also worked for the ARC of Tri-Cities for 5 years. He was a a camp director for their summer program for a few years as well. His cients were at one time ARC clients.
ReplyDeleteMy comment is so long. Sorry about that. You do have your hands full. I feel I just fell into the trap of trying to fix everyone's problem instead of just listening. Sometimes knowing that I'm heard and that my thoughts and feelings matter means a great deal to me. Yes, we do need to keep in touch. I can't believe you keep up two blogs! It takes forever to do one and I haven't even thought of adding too many pictures yet. And you've been doing this for awhile. You are such a good mom and you are so involved in each of your children's lives. When did you turn into Superwoman?